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UNQUESTIONABLE LOVE A heart-wrenching reflection from 'Sarah', a volunteer working in Kiev, Ukraine. Tue, 3 Oct 2000 21:56 Tonight I thought I would get to bed early since I had a long day today. Sometimes it isn’t until you slow down that your mind starts to wake up. Sometimes I don’t feel like typing and putting down my thoughts but I know that I must so that others can understand how I feel. This is what I was thinking. I cannot remember one time in my life that I have never felt loved. Someone has always cared about me and known exactly where I am. Love is what made me grow. Love gave me the courage to dream because I could do anything I wanted to. I couldn’t grow on my own I needed someone to help me to. There was always somebody there to do up my shoelaces and when I was ready to teach myself someone had enough patience to say the ‘loop around the bunny ears’ poem countless times. Someone always cut the crusts off of my bread and knew exactly what temperature I liked the bath water at. When I fell down somebody always picked me up and kissed me better. When I cried the tears were wiped from my face. I was the star at the dinner table and always had an ear to listen to another knock knock joke. If I had a bad dream mum was by my side. Dad read me stories and i always got tucked into bed. I was remembering this because I had two stories on my mind. Their names are Natasha and Ura. There childhoods have been different than mine and I can’t help thinking about the differences. They are both living with 38 other children in quarantine. They are the smallest in there and starved for love. Natasha is 8 years old and has been on the street since she was really little. Her mom is dead and her dad is an alcoholic. I met her a while ago on the street. She was dirty and her shoes were falling apart. Her teeth look like they have never seen a toothbrush and some have rotted down to the gums. She said it hurts to eat. Ura is a little nine-year-old boy who isn’t sure where his parents are and he doesn’t want to see them because they always drink. He is malnourished and didn’t leave my side all day. I saw how empty and dry these two children are. The moment i walked in the door there were children all around me wanting a hug. They would grab you a hug you as long as they could. I spent the day today with Natasha and Ura. The two of them clung to me looking for affection. They didn’t want to play because they have more important things to do. They wanted to get the one thing that is impossible to survive without. They wanted to be touched. At one point we were all sitting watching a movie and little Ura got pushed out of the way. I watched as he managed to twist his body under a few chairs and he reached out his hand and held mine. I felt him relax as he lay on the ground not caring about the movie but that somebody was finally holding his hand. He lay like that the whole time. He made me think about all that I had when I was little. I can love because I was taught how to. I know I am beautiful inside and out because my dad has been telling me since he saw me on the delivery table. If Natasha knew how much I love to hold her. If she only knew that I can’t sleep right now because I can’t wait to see her tomorrow. If Ura only knew that I noticed his bug beautiful smile the minute I walked in the room. If only they knew that they are perfect and are invaluable. When God gives you a child he gives you a gift. Loving someone is a lifelong choice. When you do not see this gift for what it really is and deny your child there most basic human right; to be loved, you end up creating scared little children who lie on the floor like dogs squirming there way through chairs looking for a hand to hold. I cant explain the intensity in holding a child that has not been given this human right and has not been cared for. They are two such lives in a crowd of many that I work with every day. One more thought to leave you with. Our apartment is currently without power (good old soviet wiring). I was lying on my bed thinking about these two precious children while staring at the tea lights on the ground. The candles flickering in the dark reminded me that a candle never loses anything when it lights another candle. Don’t be afraid to give. My eyes become wider every day over here and I am daily reminded of something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for my childhood that was filled with hugs and kisses! Luv Sarah
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